I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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