Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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