3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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