Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
