can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
