I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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