Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
