We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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