It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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