Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
