in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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