If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
