I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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