dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
