I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
