turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
