two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
