even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
