Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
