Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
