Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
