I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
