He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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