In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
