This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
