Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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