I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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