i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish i was in the wii world.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
