So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
