hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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