Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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