4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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