he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
