Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
