what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
