You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
