dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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