Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
