pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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