You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
