I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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