I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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