I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
