is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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