The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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