I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
