sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
