Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
