with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my being single is dangerous.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she peed on how many people?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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