I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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