i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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