All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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