things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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