So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Farmville is her only friend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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